*This post was originally published on my initial blog on February 1, 2016. I am in the process of migrating my content from Blogger and appreciate your patience as I do so!
Well, I’m officially 21, but– in full disclosure– I still play on playgrounds and cuddle with stuffed animals. I’ve yet to drink alcohol and I know squat about doing taxes. So, I’d be hard pressed to tell you what magical transformation actually occurred on Friday to make me an “official adult” (I’ll report back on that one). What I do know, however, is that I am incredibly blessed to have 21 years under my belt.
My parents say that I first entered the world screaming my head off. I was probably upset that my comfort and stability had been jostled by this thing we call life, and I’ve been Type A ever since. But Type A is discipline and order. Type A is NOT regulations and rituals, restrictions and isolation. That came on the tail end of divorce (and if you haven’t yet heard my testimony, I encourage you to read about God’s goodness HERE).
In our segmented little lives, we often miss the timeline of God’s goodness. For me, this birthday acted like a virtual time capsule, a reminder of where I’ve come from and where I’m going. See, I spent my last birthday in treatment for an eating disorder that had ravaged my life. I couldn’t fathom sitting down with friends or eating a brownie or relaxing. But God works in the anguish of our souls. He lifts us from the pit into the light of day. At 21 years-old, I’m experiencing that light for the first time.
I’ve recently been reading about the life of Jacob in Genesis, and boy, is it a story of struggle I can really resonate with All through his life, Jacob kept trying to manipulate things for his own good fortune. Heck, he even fought with his brother in the womb (Genesis 25:22). He tricked his father into blessing him with his brother’s birthright and later in life, he slept with his wive’s servant in order to have a son. He was living like a desperate soul with no maker. And it begs the question: Why? Despite a blessing from God, clear provision and even a angelic dream from the big man himself, Jacob couldn’t grasp the knowledge that God is for us.
See, all through Jacob’s life– in spite of Jacob’s own thwarted efforts– God upheld His end of the deal. He blessed Jacob abundantly and He kept His promises.
That same character of God is true for you and for me. Wherever you started: God was there. And from the moment of creation, He has been actively pursuing you in order to give you what satisfies you most, namely: Him. I’ve been amazed this week at just how far God has brought me and how faithful He has been in my journey to restored freedom. I’m approaching a year of being at a restored weight, and I can’t help but fall on my face in the presence of the Lord’s goodness that never ends.
And Jacob? Well, He struggled his way into a wrestling match with God. A crippled hip stayed a reminder for the rest of his years, that God is good and faithful. As Frederick Buechner said, it was “a magnificent defeat of the human soul at the hands of God” (The Magnificent Defeat).
Amen. I pray that your soul and mine will be crushed by the realization of who our God truly is. He is faithful and His goodness flows deeper than our sin. And THAT leaves me awestruck (RELATED: An Awestruck 2016).
I’d love to hear about the timeline of God’s goodness in your life. Comment below or send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. Be blessed!