There are some things I really dislike in life: Freezing rain and birds, for sure. Also: skorts- they’re not fooling anybody. Oh and I really hate olives. Sorry to any olive lovers out there.
It’s safe to say no one’s accused me of being coy about my feelings. No, I pretty much wear my emotions on my sleeve. What’s that? You hate crying? Oh sorry, I do it everyday.
But here’s something I’ve only recently realized: I often don’t cry to the One who perfectly understands those tears. I don’t pour out those emotions to the One who is never too bothered to listen. Many times, I approach the Lord with a studious nod and a G-rated version of my struggles, all the while knowing that He is simultaneously dealing with refugee crises & mass murder. Like, “Ok God, I know this is stupid, but….”
And I wonder: When will we stop putting a disclaimer on our broken hearts? When will we fully embrace our weakness- even when it comes to being weak!? The answer is: We never will, on this earth. But that doesn’t mean we don’t grapple with it & push that condemnation away with every fiber of our being. Because the more we let ourselves embrace our weak imperfection, the more we see the power of Our Savior & the magnitude of His love.
And then, then my friend, we begin to see the beauty in ourselves. We’ll never get it from our society or Instagram likes or the media (RELATED: Why Strong is NOT the New Skinny). It’ll finally smack us on the head when as we continue taking step after step toward rawness with the Lord.
I’m going to surmise that I’m not the only one who feels like this, who does this. I mean, it’s pretty much a daily struggle to not sit in my puddle of shame & try to hide my deepest pain from the Lord.
Our true thoughts are buzzing through our heads while we bow them & subtly close the wreckage of a door that guards our hearts. Our human nature wants to hide the sin & the accompanying shame. So, a lot of the time, that’s what we- I- do.
We don’t want to bother Him, don’t want to get our hopes up, don’t want to acknowledge our fears. We don’t want to damage our pride or have to sift through all our junk that is rancid and painful. And we just plain don’t want to let Him in.
And oh how our hearts long to whisper: “Jesus, this is really hard for me and I want to talk to you about it.”
Guys, sometimes life is hard. It’s fall-on-the-floor-and-cry hard, it’s contemplate-giving-up hard. But in our quest to focus on the Lord, let us not forget that we are also to give our troubles to Him. Let’s not forget to open our hearts and let Him hear it. He is swift in justice & strong to save, but He is also gentle to hold us in our darkest hours. I encourage you to let the Lord hold you, no matter how big or small your trial.
Psalm 27:13-14: “I believe I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be strong, and may your heart be stout; wait on the Lord.”
Ps. If this post resonated with you today, I encourage you to listen to THIS song by Steffanie Gretzinger. It brings me to tears every time.